Do you just love that person who gives you advice, that is so blatantly obvious that it makes you want to punch them in the jaw? Well guess what today’s post is on giving that type of advice to some world leaders and other rich and famous people.
1. Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, a couple of things here Recep, first you are not a sultan, rigging an election, removing civil rights, and being an asshole does not make you sultan, it makes you a douchebag. You will go down in history as the first person to cause a revolution by trying to cut down a tree, great legacy. Second, you were going around advising all the other leaders of countries facing the ‘Arab Spring’ to step down in face of popular uprisings but you don’t heed your own advice? and Finally, if you want to save whatever legacy you have, step aside, call for new elections and retire, you are done.
2. Attorney General Eric Holder, bro, you are literally the worse AG in history, not just the history of the US but the history of the world. The AG is supposed to be the bastion of law and order, you are epic level corrupt, if this was a video game you unlocked the achievement ‘Master of Corruption’ and thanks to your inspired skill, you have corrupted the Department of INjustice, and you really just need to quit. Good luck on your next career as a 3 card monte dealer.
3. President Barrack Obama, You rode to the presidency on a wave of hope and change, you were handed a carte blanche to ‘fix’ all of our problems. What have you done? You passed a deeply unpopular health care bill that will bankrupt the country and makes our health care system the laughing-stock of the western world, increased the national debt, and generally made the US the most unpopular power in history, and that includes such notables as Genghis Khan, Mao Tse-tung, and Idi Amin.. In what was supposed to be the first post-racial presidency, you have caused the rise of racism, racist hate crimes, and racial incidents to all time highs. You never know what is going on, and have no responsibility for problems that occur, I’m really not sure what you do at 1600 Pennsylvania, but sounds like a great job, nice pay, no responsibility, and hordes of devoted fans. Seriously you are the Snooki of politics. So what can you do? Simple, fire the entire executive branch, appoint Allen West as acting president and then retire.
4. Mahmoud Abbas, you want us to recognize you as a country? You are like a teenager, you want to drive the car, but are threatening to run over every Jew you see, I’m sure not giving you the keys, so…GIVE YOURSELF AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT!!
5. Kim Jong-un, you don’t have a parody yet, but don’t worry you will. On a more let’s not nuke Seoul note…umm let’s not nuke Seoul. Honestly, all that cash (cough) flowing into your coffers, should be used to…idk…feed your people instead of trying to make a nuke that you can’t ever use. Just a thought, big time. On that line of thinking, CAPITALISM, yeah slick, the Chinese totally endorse it, so….you could be the Hong Kong of the Korean pennisula.
In case, one needs to be reminded, this entire post is plagued with hyper-bole, exaggerations, and sarcasm, but at the end of the day, you understand what I’m saying.