Greetings Insidious Threat to a Statist America,
I am completely unaware of any good reason why anyone would be upset with our esteemed government led by our adored leader, Barack Obama, for gathering up information on people who are less than trust worthy, the media. We have little to fear from Islamic terrorists, they barely kill anyone here in America, a far bigger threat to the progress of America is all those icky, religious fanatical, gun loving, people hating conservatives, not that I have actually met any, but Rachel Maddow says it is true, so it must be.
So what needs to happen, is you with all of your vitriol hate against our humble leader, need to just accept that we won the election twice, so we don’t need permission from congress, the courts, or the people, we know what is best, and we will do it, no matter how bad it hurts you, because it is for the children, not your children, not my children, but “the children” and if you are too ignorant to know what that means, then you don’t deserve to know, you only deserve to obey your betters, like me, my mentor and professor said that we can do it. President and Party chairman Obama has decreed that you will enjoy it, the process of fundamentally transforming America. So enjoy it.
On a more personal note, I only agreed to Dak’s request of writing a post, because I know that you evil anti-progressives, won’t listen to the Truth-speaking media outlets like MSNBC or CNN, so I am reaching out to you, I even put on a plaid shirt and jeans, although I didn’t have any ugly boots, so I borrowed my friends, they’re pink, but they are ugly boots. I also took a toy gun from some kid on the street, he should not have guns anyway, guns lead to violence, I had to hit him twice before he gave it to me, if he had a barbie, I would have only had to hit him once. So I look just like you, well, kind of, except obviously more stylish.
I will end by saying, start supporting not only the greatest American in the history of the world, but the greatest human ever, he is gay and straight, black and white, VIL and SDA, a true genius, straight A’s in Harvard, he even quit smoking, kind of. By the way, just ignore all those politically motivated attacks, I’m assured that they are all lies and misrepresentations of the truth. Well, I’m off, I need to hit the club to spend my EBT.
L. Morgan Allan,
Loyal Follower of the Obama
[Editors Note: We invited Morgan, to send us a post, in return we are to pay for lunch, I’m feeling dollar menu, on the roach coach. Hopefully Morgan will share more ‘wisdom’ with us later]