News from around the world
dateline: St. Petersburg, Russian Federation.
President Vladimir Putin has announced that since he is more popular than US President Barrack Obama in America and since he actually did something to earn a Nobel Peace Prize, he was going to replace the American president, take his Nobel peace prize and his dog Bo, although President Putin did say he would let now former President Obama keep his wife, Michelle (this of course started tongues-a-wagging).
dateline: Damascus, Syrian Arab Republic.
Syrian President Assad, has agreed to sell the US all of his dirty underwear in addition to his chemical weapons, total price a measly $1 billion.
dateline: Pyongyang, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.
North Korean Supreme Leader (and self proclaimed hottest dude in the world, eat it, Justin Bieber) Kim Jong-un, has placed his ‘nukes’ on e-bay. [current price: $1.43]
dateline: Harare, Republic of Zimbabwe (aka Republic of Bob).
President/King/Emperor Robert ‘Bob’ Mugabe has placed the entire country on craigslist. [listed price: $250 obo] Bob is hoping a white Brit will buy it so he can complain about British Imperialism some more.
dateline: Washington D.C., United States of America (aka Obamaland).
President Obama has retired to play golf and give speeches about how good of a president he was, since Vladimir Putin has taken over for him. Vice President Joe Biden still thinks he is VP, Dmitry Medvedev has not had the heart to break the news to him, yet.
**all of the above is nonfactual and completely made up, except for the stuff about Assad’s panties and Bob.**