News From Around The World,
brought to you by Dak’s Bays.
–Dateline: Houston, Texas, USA:
This just out [well a month ago-ish] “racist?” elected to Board of Trustees [Houston Community College]. White candidate Dave Wilson carefully crafted insidious flyers [link] intended to deceive black voters as to his actual race. 24-year incumbent Bruce Austin, stated I am a prime example that the voters do not actually read the flyers and vote on issues, so obviously my opponent is racist. [NFI]
–Dateline: Washington D.C., USA:
Sheila Jackson-Lee has formally requested that unemployment benefits be paid to working people, thereby initiating a severe outbreak of opposite day in Washington DC, before officials could contain it,
we had insulted our best ally Great Britain,(luckily the Brits don’t listen to our politicians anymore either)
declared war on Prussia,(the state department issued a statement that US Forces are still looking for the Ambassador but the assumption is that he or she is fine, DOD is still looking for maps, former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton is quoted as stating she has visited Konigsberg many times and even solved the infamous seven bridges quandary in a new and novel way. She would not elaborate at this time)
and invited Persia for a sit-down. (The Shah was quite honored and Persepolis is all abuzz with the excitement).
–Dateline: MSNBC Headquarters, New York City, New York, USA:
Melissa Harris-Perry the cutting edge professor/journalist/associate professor/commentator/assistant professor/author/lecturer-professor on MSNBC has declared the use of the word “racist” by anyone who is white is automatically racist. When questioned on how a white person might point out that another white person is racist. Ms. Harris-Perry, stated, we will let the legal system work that out, that is outside my area of expertise, which to be honest is rather limited.
Have a great weekend, be safe, and remember almost all of the above is SARCASM. So….all of the above quotes are completely and totally fictitious, although they are plausible.