Flash: Susan Rice Blames the Russian Invasion of Ukraine on Internet Video

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It has come to light that the Invasion of Ukraine by a Disorganized Mob of Russian Demonstrators is in response to an Internet Video.

The Video was purportedly criticizing the overuse of Sour Cream in the Russian Diet.  It also, reportedly, implied that Beets shouldn’t be considered a Food.

National Security Advisor Susan Rice has been scheduled to make several appearances on Sunday News Shows to fully explain the circumstances of this unfortunate event.

She has also issued a statement clarifying why there has been no United States response:  “We simply didn’t have any resources in the area capable of responding in time.”

Secretary of State John Kerry commented; “What, at this point, does it matter?”  It should be noted that Kerry made the statement in what some considered a “strange high-pitched kind of shouting, almost through his nose.”  At this time we’re not sure if he was mocking someone or simply…

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