Boko Haram

Sark Saturday (28 Mar 15) The March Madness of King Barack Edition

SarkSat

The following is sarcasm.  Please enjoy at your own risk.

 

Dateline:  Sana’a, Republic of Yemen

Less than a year after President Obama touted “success” in Yemen and Somalia, Yemen has fallen into a state of civil war, where Sunni terrorists fight Shiite terrorists, and now the Saudi military has had to intervene to save innocents.  Thousands have already died, and this will continue before peace returns.  Meanwhile, in Somalia, al Qaeda affiliate, al Shaaba has terrorized thousands everywhere outside of the self-proclaimed Republic of Somaliland.

 

Dateline:  Tikrit, Republic of Iraq

The Iranian led Shiite Militia offense to push ISIS (Daesh) out of Tikrit has bogged down, President Obama has authorized US airstrikes to help out.

ObamaDrone

 

Dateline:  Tripoli, Libya

Chaos continues to reign supreme in Libya after President Obama led from behind the overthrow of longtime dictator Muammar Gaddafi.  The President plans to announce Libya as another success of his foreign policy soon.

happyObama

 

Dateline:  Tehran, Islamic Republic of Iran

In a desperate attempt to get the Iranians to agree to any “deal” President Obama has offered Uncle Joe as Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s personal concubine.  The Ayatollah turned down the offer because “Uncle Joe drinks too much for a good concubine.”

sexyjoe

 

Dateline:  Washington D.C., USA

New Afghan President Mohammad Ashraf Ghani, personally thanked the US taxpayer for their hardwork and generous hearts in supporting Afghanistan.  President Obama looked slightly put off and curtly stated, “It’s my money.”

irratedObama

 

Dateline:  Tunis, Tunisia

President Obama stated recently that the Terrorists who attacked the Tunisian National Museum were not terrorists but hungry government workers, and that is why he was going to increase foreign aid to someone, at that point in his statement the president seem to lose his chain of thought and started mumbling about the benefits of basketball to world peace.

obama_basketball

 

Dateline:  a cave in Chechnya

Jaish al Muhajireen wal Ansar briefly expressed their undying Beiber like love of ISIS (daesh) before quickly breaking up, once they found out that daesh was messing with Boko Haram.  President Obama posted on their timeline, how he didn’t think they were as cute of a couple as Kim K and Kanye.

 

The "Cuter" Couple

The “Cuter” Couple

 

Dateline:  hiding out in Nigeria

Boko Haram bigwig Abubakar Shekau sent his love to daesh via online posts, daesh sent some loving back, but Shekau let daesh know in no uncertain terms that Nigeria was his b!tch and would not tolerate daesh moving in, daesh was cool as long as Shekau sent all his man love to daesh.  Needless to say, the Nigerian army has continued to bitch slap Boko Haram around like a red-headed step child.  President Obama has vowed to find out a way to stop the Nigerian army.

Abubakar Shekau giving his sexy smile

Abubakar Shekau giving his sexy smile

 

 

Dateline:  A golf course near D.C., USA

President Obama finished his NCAA brackets and even gave an interview about it.  We can safely assume that his picks will be better than his foreign or domestic policy.  [Link]

 

 

Tuesday Thoughts (6 May 14)

Thoughtful Wolf

Thoughtful Wolf

 

Here are a few thoughts I have going on…

 

— Clive Bundy (the rancher who was and continues to be the victim of Federal Government bullying) has shown an amazing level of ignorance with his comments about the “negro”, failing to realize and/or care that many of his supporters are/were Americans who are of African descent.  I pray that something will touch his heart, and he will not just not say hurtful untrue things but will actually become enlightened, and not paint an entire ethnic group with such a broad brush of ignorance and hate.

 

—  The entire Donald Sterling debacle, besides being stomach turning that a person who holds such disgusting views has no problems exploiting (albeit well paid exploitation) the talents of his black players.  As a side note, while Sterling was a recently registered Republican, as they say money talks and BS walks, his political contributions have been decidedly left-wing.

 

— In keeping with the Donald Sterling thought, Vanessa Stivano, if a guy buys you 2 Bentleys, a Ferrari, and a $1.8 million condo, and you call yourself his silly rabbit, you are NOT his assistant, you are his mistress.

 

— Jay Carney has become the President’s very own ‘Baghdad Bob’, first it was “bending the truth”, then “twisting the truth”, then flat-out lying, and now…reality has left the building.  I hope they are throwing piles of cash at you, Jay, because you would have more credibility if you sold your ass for crack on the street corner then you do now.

 

— In Nigeria, Boko Haram (led by Abubakar Shekau) kidnapped 276 girls from a school, and is now threatening to sell them as slave wives to other Islamic extremists.  I’ll pray for the safe return of all these girls to their families, and hope that Abubakar’s last thought is “Oh shit, that Predator just launched a Hellfire“.

 

I apologize for my recent absence, I have been feeling under the weather of late.  More fun stuff to come, so come back soon.