Tart Tuesday, The Gruber Feinstein Edition (9 Dec 14)

The following is sarcasm…


Dateline:  Cambridge, Ma, USA:  MIT announced today that Professor Jonathon Gruber will be leaving the Economic Department to head the newly formed Department of Economic Deception Policy, joining him will Kathleen Sebelius (former Secretary of Health and Human Services).  Senator Feinstein asked who Gruber and Sebelius are.


Dateline:  Harare, Zimbabwe(aka the Republic of Bob):  President/King/Self-proclaimed Semi-divine being Bob has fired Vice President Joice Mujuru and 8 cabinet members today, calling her “a witch”.  Bob then offered Professor Gruber a job as head of the office of economic propaganda for an amazing salary of Z$1 million per week.  The good professor politely declined after realizing that Zimbabwe abandoned the Zimbabwe dollar half a decade ago.  Senator Diane Feinstein has offered to take over as Vice President.  Bob wisely declined.  Bob furthered decreed that the infamous Malleus Maleficarum be reprinted and used as a guide to root out any other witches in Zimbabwe.


Dateline:  Moscow, Russian Federation:  Former professional amateur spy Anna Chapman has withdrawn her proposal to NSA leak Edward Snowden and thrown her love at venerable Senator Dianne Feinstein, stating simply “I love Dianne’s dedication to exposing those people who sent me back to this $#!!hole…er…I mean my beautiful homeland.  I just want to be famous and rich American like Kim Kardashian”.  Professor Gruden refused to comment and said talk to his counsel.  Senator Feinstein commented, Who is Anna Chapman?


Dateline:  Washington D.C.:  White House spokesman Josh “Canadian Girlfriend” Earnest, has denied any reports that the administration is conducting a “scorched earth” policy against the incoming Republican controlled congress and by default all of America, rather he termed it a “well toasted soil” policy.  Professor Gruber said speak to his counsel and Senator Feinstein cackled loudly.  Bob got the heebeegeebees from that btw.


Dateline:  Tehran, Islamic Republic of Iran:  The unnamed pilot who flew an American made (made prior to 1968) F-4 D/E in an air strike on ISIL targets in Iraq was awarded, the Iranian Military Order of Merit, kinda, it was the Military Order of Merit, but had a duck-taped picture of some old guy on the Pahlevi crown.  Professor Gruber asked how much it was worth, and Senator Feinstein asked who Iran was.


Dateline:  Washington D.C., USA:  The meeting between Vice President Joe Biden (Uncle Joe) and Prince William (Duke of Cambridge) ended early when Uncle Joe kept asking the Prince to sing “Little Red Corvette“.  Professor Gruber stated his favorite was “Diamonds and Pearls” and Senator Feinstein asked who Prince is and who Joe Biden is.


The above is a mix of hard truths, tarty sarcasm, and complete and total fabrications.  If this offends you, please leave a comment below, I enjoy a good laugh.

Monday Morning QBing (3 Feb 14)

Monday Morning QBing

Monday Morning QBing


— Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks on their Super Bowl victory over the heavily favored Denver Broncos.  [final score 43-8]


— The twitter-verse racist trolls were outraged over the Coca Cola advert that featured the song America the Beautiful in several languages.

A couple of things for the ignorant

1) America the Beautiful is not our National Anthem. Not knowing this pretty much invalidates any argument you have about the commercial.  [Knowledge is Power]

2)  Just because something is labelled (or mis-labelled) as multicultural doesn’t mean it is automatically bad or good. [That is prejudice.  DUH!]

3.) White, English speakers are not the source of all evil in the world, nor are they the source of all good.  Every race, culture, ethnicity, have done very nasty things, and every one has done glorious, beautiful things.  [Educate Yourself.]


— Bill O’Reilly interviewed the President with part showing before the Super Bowl and the rest airing tonight on Bill O’Reilly’s show on FNC.  It won’t be the typical hero-worship crap the President gets when he does “The View”, MSNBC, or Katie Couric, but don’t expect an overly aggressive interview either.  Expect no novel information from the President, as he will dance around the answers, in what appears much like an elephant doing ballet, amazing but completely ineffective, oddly no one ever calls him out on it, so it will end up being an exercise in not throwing the closest heavy object at the TV screen.

So watch at your (and your flat screens’) own risk.


On that note, some Nat King Cole

Sark Saturday (27 Jul 13)



Yesterday, President Obama held a press conference with his favorite media courtesans, this is a brief summary of what he discussed.


Earlier this week I was castigated by certain ‘right wing’ personalities, when I compared Ho Chi Minh to Thomas Jefferson, but I have you know, that everything I said was the absolute truth-ish.

Not only was Uncle Ho, much like Tommy J, but my personal hero, Nero was a lot like George Washington, “The Original W”.

What do I mean, well W cut down a cherry tree, right?  Nero, burned down Rome.

Yea, you are feeling that, huh?  Them 2 are like peas in a pod.

W did it, and Nero knew he would, so my boy beat him to the punch by 1700 years.  Take that liberty-lovers.

Not only did Nero burn down Rome, he played a fiddle while doing it.  Beat that (Ted) Cruz.

So, while you have all been chasing the ‘Phony’ [or not so phony] scandals with Benghazi, the IRS, the NSA, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, you have missed the forest for all the trees.  I’ve been burning down America, yea, not so easy, but I am well on my way.

Check it out:

Economy:  Burned down

International Respect:  Toasted

Fair and Free Elections:  Gone

Debt:  Blown the F… Up

Detroit:  Trashed

Chicago:  Demolished

Health Care:  It’s burning

the Military:  devastated

The Constitution:  Ashes

Your Savings:  Dust

and I have 3 more years left…so expect more of the same,

I have the Middle Class in my sights,

Texas I have to crush,

Oil burns sweet so you know I have to,

Coal you know I am going to,

Nuclear don’t make me laugh

anything left, Hillary will get when we steal the 2016 elections.


Anyway back to something far more interesting….ME.

I want you all to know that all these ‘fake’, umm ahhh ‘false’, no that’s not it, mmm, oh yea, ‘Phony’ Scandals you really should not follow, nothing to see there or here, giggle, just go back to talking about Kanye and Kimmy, and who can forget, North.

Who needs freedom anyway?  Especially when you can talk about how great I am.  Right?

Matthews, where you at?  Tell them about your tingling leg.

Jay C, hit it….[music] Remember if you impeach me…..I have 2 words for you:


Joe Biden

Joe Biden

Yea, Beeeyatches

You think I choose the dumbest man in the history of the world for no reason??

Chew on that, Boner er Boehner.




How was that Ms. Valerie, Count Soros?  I mentioned everything you told me to, even the ‘phony’ scandal stuff.  The mic is still on?  Oh sorry.


Sark Saturday

Sark Saturday

Music Monday

Here is some music for your listening pleasure….

First up a blast to the past with Nena’s 99 Red Balloons from February 1984

For those of you with more socially conscious ears, Here is some Hopsin

For the Country & Western music lovers, some Toby Keith, Should’ve Been a Cowboy.

For the classic music aficionados some Beethoven, Fur Elise.

Here are a couple of good wake up songs:

Lou Bega, Mambo No.5

All American Rejects, Gives You Hell

Flo Rida, Low

Bowling For Soup, Ohio

Avril Lavigne, What the Hell

I hope this helps kick off your week in a good way. Have fun, Be Safe, Come Back soon.