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Sark Saturday (28 Feb 15) The End of February 2015 Edition

The following is sarcasm, while our intent is not to irritate, aggravate, humiliate, or any other …ate, we can not deny that we don’t have a problem with those things.  So if you are irritated, aggravated, humiliated, or any other …ated, please leave a quick note, that way we can cachinnate.

 

SarkSat

 

Dateline:  Washington D.C., USA

Soon to be retiring Attorney General Eric “The Duck” Holder has blamed Fox news for Americans (and I am assuming Britons, Australians, French, Israelis, Syrians, Jordanians, Iraqis, Afghans, Indians, Pakistanis, Canadians, Belgians, Danes, Russians etc) for thinking that terrorism is a threat.  I am not sure if that factored into his flat-out refusal to give an “exit” interview to Fox news or could it possibly be that Ducky played this game…[Link]

 

Dateline:  Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe

President/King/Self-Proclaimed Semi-Divine Being Bob celebrated his 91st birthday at the colonial-era town near the famed waterfall.  While giving no indications of stepping down anytime soon, Bob and his guests (members of the ruling junta) gorged themselves on the meat of a pair of elephants that oh so willingly gave up their lives to sate Bob’s prodigious hunger.  [Where is PETA when you need them?]  After blaming the UK for all the ills of Zimbabwe’s current condition, he stated that he planned to “liberate” more white “safari owners” land.  Translating Bob-ese into English that means more land stolen from anyone who opposes his autocratic inept rule to be redistributed to his loyalists.  So anyone thinking of taking safari to Zimbabwe…Don’t.  It could be a fatal error.

 

Dateline:  Cairo, Arab Republic of Egypt

In a shocking turn of events, Judge Mohamed el-Sayed of the Court For Urgent Matters ruled that Hamas (the totally NOT corrupt and incompetent rulers of the Gaza strip) is a terrorist group, citing recent attacks on civilians and security forces in the Sinai and beyond, because they intended to harm the country (Egypt).    Although one wonders if this has anything to do with the rumors floating around that ISIS has established a presence in Gaza and Hamas fighters were flocking to the new wannabes, and that Hamas leadership were in communication and possibly negotiations with ISIS for some sort of partnership.  Egypt has already bombed ISIS targets in Libya after the mass murder of Egyptian Coptic Christian workers there.

 

Dateline:  London, England, Great Britain

In news that spits in the face of Marie Harf, deputy spokesperson for the US State Department, who stated that we need to give terrorists jobs to prevent terrorism.  Jihad Johnny/Jihad John (aka Mohammed Emwazi) was college educated (with a degree in computer science) and was not in need of job, he is in need of a bullet to the brain, a tomahawk to the torso, or a hellfire to the head.  Marie Harf who is shockingly an intelligence analyst by trade, defended her statement by claiming that her argument was too nuanced for some, or it could possibly be that her argument was just plain IDIOTIC.  Nearly all wars end when one side gets tired of dying, meaning you CAN kill your way out of a war.  Lack of jobs do not create terrorists, power-hungry assholes create terrorists.  Less I remind everyone that Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan had nearly 100% employment, and both continued to fight until we (The US, UK, USSR, and our allies) killed enough of them that they begged for peace.  Gee, you think that would work here?  Absolutely.  Germany and Japan both had a major cultural changes after the war, both of those countries are now some of the most peaceful countries on the planet.  That sounds like a good plan to me.  I would love to see, a Christian church, a Jewish synagogue, a Hindu Temple, a Buddhist Pagoda or Vihara, and a Pagan Sacred Grove in Mecca along with the Mosque there.

 

Dateline:  New York City, New York, USA

If you were wondering what the United Nations has been up to for the past couple of months while ISIS (Daesh) has been chopping heads off, burning people alive, and generally committing genocide, well so were we hence we looked into it.   The UN Security council has…as of late last evening, strongly condemned the “ongoing barbaric terrorist acts” committed by militants of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) aka ISIS or Daesh or a bunch of asshats running around killing, raping, destroying, you know crimes against humanity type things that the UN was allegedly formed to stop, and reaffirmed its determination in defeating the extremist group.  Wow!!  Can you feel the determination?  Rumors abound about ISIS contemplating surrendering to the UN.  Not really.  Good thing we pay millions of dollars for the UN to deplore ISIS’s genocide.  Bravo UN, keep up the great work.  In other news, UN chief Ban Ki-moon visited a dam in Chile.  While I generally don’t criticize the UN, mainly because I don’t pick low hanging fruit, seriously I couldn’t let this one slide by.

 

on a lighter note:

 

Dateline:  Outside a Pub, Ireland

An intellectually challenged thief met his match when he tried repeatedly to break the window on a Mercedes, until the brick he threw at the defenseless vehicle bounced off, hit him in the face, and knocked him unconscious.  If I were Mercedes marketing, I would make a commercial out of the video.

 

 

Saturday Sark (31 Jan 15)

SarkSat

The following is sarcasm.  Enjoy at your own risk.

 

Dateline:  Washington D.C.

In bizarre and ultimately failed attempt at the famed Jedi mind trick, assistant to the assistant to the deputy of the secretary of the assistant deputy White House spokesman, Eric Schultz tried to convince John Karl of ABC news that the Taliban weren’t a terrorist group.  132 children would disagree, if they could.

In other news President Obama has abandoned his plan to pay for the first 2 years of community college, by taking college savings away.

 

Dateline:  Paris, France

Earlier this month, Secretary of State  John Kerry finally arrived in ‘plans’ to join the Paris Anti-Terror Rally (Charlie Hebdo) nearly a week after Attorney General Eric Holder slithered out of the City of Lights to avoid going, to say nothing of Uncle Joe, who eagerly volunteered to run to Saudi Arabia to creep on comfort anyone who would let him in the wake of the old King’s death, didn’t attend, and the President….too busy for the Valerie Jarret described ‘parade’.

 

Dateline:  Ar-Raqqah, Syria

Daesh (ISIS) have released the latest edition of their state sponsored magazine, in it, the detail the correct way to raise little terrorists, also included recipes for the loving wife.

There has been no response from ISIS to Jordan’s warning that if their pilot was killed, that Jordan would go all Black September on them.

 

Dateline:  Top Secret Base, Undisclosed Location

We have saved the best for last, Michael Moore, famed for his propaganda movies in the form of documentaries to say nothing of his magnum opus, Canadian Bacon, has decided that “we” were taught that snipers were cowards, and not wanting any Americans to be considered cowards has volunteered to replace all the snipers in the US Military with a weapon of his own design, so without further ado…

we present…

 

the Michael Francis Moore Wonder Weapon (M103A3E2)

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First you take Michael,

Michael Moore

Michael Moore

then since the military doesn’t make body armor in that size,

he strips naked, wraps himself in a camo net

Camouflage Net aka Camo Net

Camouflage Net aka Camo Net

and then he waits for the enemy to be about to attack innocent civilians or friendly forces and

he throws off the camo and charges into battle, as seen below

CAUTION THE FOLLOWING PICTURE CAN AND WILL CAUSE RETINA DAMAGE

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Please turn away, we beg you, the horror of a naked Michael Moore in full on charge is enough to break anyone.

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fine, here it is

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just click the link….if you dare….

LINK to naked Michael Moore in full charge, You have been warned, so we accept no responsibility for heart attacks, strokes, blindness, nausea, vomiting or any other ill effects caused by you looking at this picture.

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We are sorry but due to legal concerns we were forced to redact the photo of naked Michael Moore in full charge, but in the interest of your overwhelming and insatiable curiosity we give you a close facsimile.  Enjoy…

Saturday Sark [The Solstice Surrender Edition] (20 Dec 14)

SarkSat

Welcome to today’s Saturday Sark…

 

Dateline:  Hollywood (actually Culver City), California, USA:

Sony Pictures Entertainment have unconditionally surrendered to the Guardians of Peace, an enigmatic hacker group in the employ of North Korea, and cancelled the Christmas day opening of the Seth Rogan/James Franco movie, The Interview.  Using the pretext of a 9/11 type event at theaters to cancel the opening, when everyone on the planet knows that it is because the GoP promised to release a “Christmas gift”, considering the recent release that shows (the up til now unknown) hypocrisy of Hollywood, no one is surprised that Sony folded up like an origami swan.  Sony has announced that it will make a movie about “The Great Leader”, as requested by Kim Jong-un, the current self-proclaimed semi-divine being/sexiest man alive/president-for-life.  Amy Pascal has already requested an audience with alleged revered Al Sharpton, before doing the biopic, because who knows more about ‘truth’ then Al “Tawana Brawley” Sharpton.

 

Dateline:  Washington D.C., USA:

Not to be out-Petain‘d by Amy Pascal, President Obama has unconditionally surrendered to walking dead caricatures Fidel and Raul Castro the only people on the planet who would accept the surrender.  The White House denied any and all rumors concerning the return of the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base to Cuba, and the transfer/release of the detainees there.

 

 Dateline:  Peshawar, Islamic Republic of Pakistan:

In another blatant example of Islamic apostate extremist ‘bravery’, the Taliban attacked a school.  The government of Pakistan was quick to point out that not one of the attackers were Pakistani, as 1 was Chechen (like the Tsarnov brothers), 2 Afghans, 1 Egyptian, 1 Moroccan, and 1 Arab of unknown nationality.  Some more ‘vital’ facts:

2 were homophobic, 2 were homosexual, and 2 were both;

2 loved women and thought every man should own a few, 2 were too scared to talk about women, 1 preferred goats;

2 had bathed in the last month, 1 in the last 6 months, 2 in the last year, and 1 didn’t know what a bath was;

and there were 9 gunmen.

 

Dateline:  Sydney, Australia:

Crazed gunman Man Haron Monis, who claimed loyalty to daesh (ISIS), before the Sydney Chocolate Cafe hostage crisis.  Vast numbers of people in Australia and around the world have surrendered to lunacy and announced quite vigorously that Monis was crazy (no shit, sherlocks) so it doesn’t count as an Islamic terrorist attack (Oh OK).  No one asked how a crazed man with a long history of legal trouble was able to get his grimy hands on a firearm in Australia were even thinking about guns is banned.

 

Dateline:  New York City, New York, USA:

Governor Andrew Cuomo announced today that he was surrendering to demands to follow the example set by a certain Ivy League school‘s policy, that he would allow police officers who were traumatized by the recent protests to take paid leave up to one month, he further decreed that all workers for the City of New York could also take the paid leave, no one in City Hall was available for comment.

In related news, US military personnel take care of business every day.

 

Dateline:  Hawaii, USA:

In his ultimate surrender to date, President Obama, has fled the Oval office, and gone on vacation to his Hawaiian retreat, as he mulls his options for retirement.  Rumors abound about Chicago, Hawaii, Isla de la Juventud, New York City, San Francisco abound, and the President himself joked about retiring to Kenya just to get the goat of birthers.

Wanna-be-Sultan Recep the Aptal has offered the President a comfy estate in Constantinople, while self-proclaimed semi-divine being/King/President Bob has offered the soon to be retired President a home in Harare but only if the President can help him hunt down witches.  No comments from the First Lady.

 

The Preceding is sarcasm, if it offends you, tell a friend, show them this post, both of you should be offended equally.

Blessed Solstice,

Happy Holidays,

and MERRY CHRISTMAS.

 

and remember DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE

 

and gifts for Dak should be in the form of vodka, silver, or blades 😀

 

seriously though, if you find yourself with a few extra coins, please remember all of the veterans out there who are suffering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rotherham Rapes (7 Sep 14)

1400

 

1400 is a huge number.  1400 is the number of people in some sports stadiums. 1400.  Fourteen hundred.  One thousand Four hundred.  1400.

 

1400 is a conservative estimate of the number of under-aged girls raped in the town of Rotherham.  Rotherham is a suburb (metropolitan borough) in South Yorkshire, UK.  1400 is NOT all of the rapes that occurred in the United Kingdom, or even England, nor is it the number of all rapes in South Yorkshire, just a conservative estimate from 1 tiny area, a suburb of Sheffield.

 

What happened there?  Where are the police?  Where is the Borough Council, where is the mp (member of parliament)?  Where is protective services?

 

It all seems to have started in 1997, further investigation will be needed to verify that time frame, as some reports indicate a start date of the early 1990s.  In 2010, eight men were tried in Shieffield Crown Court, of which 5 (Zafaran Ramzan, Razwan Razaq, Umar Razaq, Adil Hussain, and Mohsin Khan) were convicted and sentenced to minor prison sentences (9, 11, 4.5, 4 and 4 years respectively).  In 2012, The Times of London conducted an investigative report which found the abuse was much more wide-spread then previously reported.  Just last week, Professor Alexis Jay, who had led the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Exploitation in Rotherham for the borough council released a report.  

 

A quick overview shows a sampling of 15 girls [starting at section 5.21], the vast majority were not helped in any substantial way by police or protective services.  Many continue to be abused.  Few families had any recent follow-up interviews as some had to leave the area in order to protect the child.  Protection from not only the grooming, but brutal rapes, psychological abuse, assaults on them and their families (including at least one case where a brother of a victim had both legs severely broken in order to keep her silent), a campaign of intimidation including gang members conducting open surveillance on the victims in their homes, threatening messages on social media, and even physical assaults.  Over 100 young girls became pregnant, with many being forced by their rapists to get abortions.  These are only a few of the incidents that occurred, where this abuse went on for almost two decades.

 

While the report only lightly touched on the exploitation of young boys by these so-called “grooming gangs”, the grooming of young boys is thought to be widespread, and vastly under-reported, with many cases being refereed to LGBT organizations (being treated as cases of sexual confusion as opposed to rape).

 

For those of you who think that heads should roll, for the 1400 victims of the Rotherham Child Sexual Exploitation scandal, well, that won’t happen.

A strong fear of being labeled a racist (all of the victims are white and all of the abusers are Asian aka Middle Eastern, no doubt victims of other ethnicities were also abused but have not yet come forward due to cultural taboos),

bureaucratic indifference (numerous previous reports were either suppressed or ignored),

political pandering (Rotherham is a Labour stronghold, the term rotten borough most often used to describe Rotherham, who has faithfully elected Labour since 1933),

a police service that at the most basic level is severely understaffed and overburdened with burgeoning population with many residents who have no understanding of British laws or even language,

lack of training and incompetence at all levels of the labyrinthine bureaucracy surrounding the agencies charged with the protection of children from rapists,

a media with the attention span of a goldfish,

and a generally indifferent population more interested in meaningless over-hyped events like the hacked naked pictures of Kate Upton then the lives of 1400 innocent children,

all these things combine to form a toxic blanket of hopelessness and helplessness for the victims and their families.

As far as the abusers, they will not be prosecuted, and they will continue to abuse, rape, and even murder our young girls and boys.

 

The most we can hope for is that PCC Shaun Wright, Joyce Thacker (Director of Children and Young People’s Services), and many others follow the example of Beauchamp Duff

 

More to follow, as there is much more information on these horrific events.

FridayFreakout

 

Is it just me….or do you also notice…..

that some people don’t understand the the First Amendment (Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..) did you notice it doesn’t say…AHHH don’t mix religion and government?  Yea, oddly it totally did NOT.  Crazy right?  For those of you, who don’t understand those words, they mean…..Congress won’t designate an official religion, and they won’t ban a religion (at least theoretically).  That is it, nothing more, nothing less.

 

Our prayers and thoughts go out to Ukraine, sadly people have died, to ensure that the government of Ukraine listens to their people.  Something about that weird ass term, democracy, go figure, maybe it will catch on.  Who knows.  No government can stand against the will of the people.  Get informed.

 

Have you heard what is going on in Scotland?  Sir William Wallace, himself, has risen from the grave, and killed every single member of the Scottish Parliament with his Claymore.  It was insane, blood and guts everywhere.  Oh wait, no that totally did not happen, but the Scottish parliament (may each and every member die the same way Sir William did) voted (105 to 0) for “the Children and Young People Bill” (oddly wikipedia doesn’t have any information on it passing), assigns a “named person” to oversee each and every child in Scotland.  [Longshanks is loving this.]  Allegedly, for the child’s own good.  [Of course, if you believe that, I have some premium ocean front property for sale in Arizona.  Best available, going quick.  Seriously, don’t miss this chance to make me obscenely wealthy].

Anyway, if you think this is a nice and caring way to take care of children, I have to say,

You, Sir or Madam, are a DUMBASS!  If you are a realists, and realize that this is most definitely on the slippery slope of statism, I welcome you to the planet earth, most of you have been here long before me.

Let us take a quick walk on the path of possibilities…

let us assume, that the next David Beckham (please use Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, or Peyton Manning if it pleases you) is born in Scotland.  Do you really think that the “named person” would not in some way shape and or form, want a piece of that action, money-wise?  PUH-LEZE.  That child would be out of your custody so quickly, you’d think he/she was the neighbors kid.  All for the good of the child (read:  Government).  You object?  Yea, your rights as a parent are inferior to this “named person”.  Check out the link:  [@:  http://wholetruthmedia.com]

 

That is it for this wonderful Friday…Be Responsible for your actions, and be Safe.

Dak

 

Austin Bay, Courtesy of Strategy Page

OBAMA’S SMART DIPLOMACY:  KEYSTONE KOPS, EMILY LITELLA, AND KABUKI

 

Expanded intervention in Syria’s civil war? The promised “red line” punitive strike? An equivocal pause for congressional rumination? Ambiguous postponement? Or… a “Saturday Night Live” Emily Litella “never mind” skit on the world stage — farcical incompetence an obscene response to obscene tragedy?

 

(Full Article @:  Strategy Page, On Point [Link]

 

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Could it be that even President Obama’s ‘allies’ question his motives and loyalties?  Or perhaps that they see America as in a self-induced decline.

Making the (very large) assumption that Assad ordered/allowed chemical weapons to be used, one has to question “What exactly would a ‘limited strike’ accomplish?

If we launch a limited strike and fail to deliver a major disruptive blow to the Assad regime, what is left to fear (for them)?  It might occur to them, that using chemical weapons to crush the rebellion would be in their long-term best interest.

To say nothing, of whomever the Assad regime will ultimately blame to unite the country against ‘evil’ America.

Could the President be signing the death warrants of thousands of people, in order to save face?

 

But the President has painted America into a corner,

if we don’t strike;  we look weak,

if we use have a limited strike;  we look (just) kind of weak,

if we go full on ape shit; we look like the bully (especially if Russian [and German] intelligence proves to be correct, and US intelligence is wrong, e.g. the Tsarnaev brothers)

 

Just some food for thought.

Sunday Contmeplation (8 Sep 13)

For today’s Sunday Contemplation…Please watch this video, and remember your actions have consequences. 

 

this young man’s actions have deprived a family of a loved one, while his confession is laudable it does NOT change the fact of his previous crime. 

 

Please say a prayer for this young man (Matthew Cordle),

the gentleman (Vincent Canzani) he killed,

and their respective families. 

and please contemplate your actions, remember they have consequences, perhaps you won’t see them as visibly as the young man in the video, but they still have consequences. 

 

 

Don’t Drink (or use drugs) and Drive, EVER.

 

More information @:  [Because I Said I Would]

Humpday History (4 Sep 13)

History

History

 

Here is some of the history of the nerve agent known as Sarin.

Sarin gas molecule

Sarin gas molecule

Sarin was developed in Wuppertal (Germany) by IG Farben as an improved pesticide in the late 1930s.

Allegedly, Sarin was named in honor of IG Farben’s scientists who discovered it:  Gerhard Schrader, Otto Ambros, Rudiger, and Van der Linde.  (I’m not sure how Van der Linde fits)

Nazi Germany produced somewhere between 500 kg and 10 tons of Sarin in World War 2.  Although Sarin and other nerve agents were incorporated into artillery shells, none were used against Allied forces.

 

Starting in the early 1950s both the NATO alliance and the Warsaw Pact started producing sarin to be used against the other in case of war.

 

In 1956 all sarin production in the US was ceased, although distilling existing stocks continued until 1970.

 

In March and April of 1988, Sarin was used by Saddam Hussein’s Iraq against both Kurdish civilians (in the city of Halabja, causing an estimated 5,000 causalities) and against Iranian troops (in the Second Battle of al Faw causing an estimated few thousand causalities)

In June 1994, the Aum Shinrikyo cult/terrorist group released sarin gas in what has become known as the Matsumoto incident (8 dead, 200 injured)

In March 1995, the Aum Shinrikyo group again released an attack with sarin, this time in the enclosed space of Tokyo’s subway system.  (13 dead, 6252 injured)

 

On 17 May 2004, sarin gas was used in a roadside bomb attack against US troops in Iraq.  (2 injured)

 

While sarin has been around roughly 80 years, its first confirmed use came only a quarter of a century ago, and although only used rarely since, it does seem that sarin’s primary capability lies in its ability to cause massive casualties, very quickly, and overwhelming most local emergency services.  Make no mistake while sarin has not been extremely fatal in the historical uses, it can be and is highly toxic.  Long-term effects from sarin exposure has not been properly studied.  While sarin does have a short shelf life, and an even shorter exposure life (time on the ground after it has been released), there are derivatives of sarin that are considered to be persistent agents, although none have been found in use in Syria to date.

 

For more information:  CDC — Facts About Sarin [Link]

Start a Petition

If you have ever wanted start a petition?  Want to make a change?  Wanted to change a particular thing that the government does in a stupid way? 

 

Here is your chance…

 

[Link]

 

Start a petition,

Gather Support,

Change the World…

 

ok well it is not that easy, but the point is there, if you want to make the idiots in the tower listen to us, the people in the street, this is the start, if they don’t listen here, we can expand our horizons.

I will post a link to some of the ones I find interesting.  If you see one that catches your interest, be sure to post it up, here or on your sight, or even better, Both.